this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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