I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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