I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
