Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
