Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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