my sisters under your porch take her home
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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