The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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