I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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