i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
