My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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