The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
