lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Randomize
