Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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