I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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