all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
