You're my little dorito
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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