i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
