i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
