She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize