Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
