Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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