i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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