Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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