My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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