The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I need help removing her.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
