; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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