I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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