bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
