Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
