If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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