One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
