I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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