Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
