apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
