So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
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Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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