I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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