It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Too much gin, very little bucket
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
