so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize