i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
