How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
