every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my being single is dangerous.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
cat food counts as protein by the way
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
