We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
