she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
