Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
