just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
