but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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