i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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