respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize