my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
