my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
