Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
