No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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