Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
