His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
