Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The struggles of a small town man whore
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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