I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
