We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
