I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
